friends?

ps:not an emo post..just some of my feelings..not about all people i know though..

friends..what a word..i'm always trying my best to please my friends..especially if they wanna go out..or jus hang out..or do stuff..but do they really appreciate me?

(to some people): there are places i wanna go..ok..singular..there is a place i wanna go before my school starts..because i know when my skool starts..i will have no time to go anymore..i asked my friends along..most will give excuses..or jus plain dun feel like going out..have you ever thought that whenever you guys asked me to accompany you, i would jus agree?i admit..sometimes i would fuss about where we are gonna go..but in the end, i will still be there..is it really that hard for you guys to spend some time with me?if we plan to go..without fail, some people will back out, or some will suggest some place else..defeats the purpose ain't it?

when you guys go out..you guys don't include me most of the time..when you guys can't find enough people, thats when my phone starts to ring..has it ever occured to you guys that ya'll are always included in my plans?

(to that someone): hmm..then what about the term "i'm always there for you"? ya when you have problems, you will automatically find me..pour your heart out to me..i don't mind..sharing is alays better than keeping it inside..i wanna help you out..but..what do you do after your problems are resolved?what do you do when you are not troubled? you forget me like i've never existed..don't even get a call for weeks..not even an sms..you call me only when you have problems, or when you are super bored..do i look like a "backup" to you?you always say that you will call back..but i know i won't even waste my time waiting, because i know that you would not call back..

(to most): these few days..i've been home alot..i don't mind being home..but being home the whole day..mayb 2 days straight..and without your phone ringing..not an sms or a call..it really makes you wonder..wonder if you are really alive..wonder about reality; on the surface you look like you have alot of friends..where ever you go..you will see someone you know..but then..reality kicks in..it starts you thinking..thinking whether if your friends are just for show..and that they are not "real" friends..why do i say that? because when you are not with them, they simply forget you..is that how it is?

(to you 2 people): but still from all this..i wanna say a BIG BIG THANK YOU to 2 of my friends..these 2 are always my listening ears..be it good or bad..they are always listening..and i want them to know that if ever they need me i'm always here..

friends..that word is so superficial..friends.."Oh! i'm hanging out with my friends..i love my friends.." would you say that if you were feeling the way i am?

the way i feel about the word friend..i'm not out to say that my friends are bad/lousy friends..but what is true is true..no matter how bad it sounds..